The Mall Trip
by inmybubble
Summary: what? dont EVER let the cullen kids and bella into a mall. ever. you'll see why.
1. Chapter 1

Edward, Bella, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett were cruising down the road to Seattle in Emmett's Jeep. Prom was in three days, and they all were in desperate need of tuxes and dresses.

Bella, disgruntled as usual about shopping was flipping through the radio station, looking for something to drown out her thoughts.

She flipped to a station, and out came:

"Sexy can I just part of my manners

Girl how you shake it

Gotta play like ooh

It's a Kodak moment go on and get your camera

All I wanna know is

Sexy can I!" (Ray J)

"THAT IS SO EMMETT!!" Bella laughed.

Alice suddenly had an idea. "Okay, how about we flip to a random station, and whatever song is on is the song that represents the person best. Emmett has his."

"Next is Rose." Emmett chuckled.

Bella flipped to the next station:

"Everything they do is like me

From their heads to their feet like me

Wanna walk like me

Wanna talk like me

Wanna get all the boys in the club like me!" (Girlicious)

Everyone laughed.

"Okay, the next song is me!" Alice said excitedly.

"L-L-L-L- Like a lollipop!" (Lil Wayne)

There was a silence.

"I don't get it…" Jasper admitted it.

No one did.

The next station was playing:

"MEET ME IN THE TRAM, ITS GOIN' DOWN, MEET ME IN THE MALL, ITS GOIN' DOWN, MEET ME IN THE CLUB, ITS GOIN' DOWN, ANYWHERE WE MEET ME GUARENTEE ITS GOIN' DOWN!!"(Yung Joc)

Jasper had turned up the station, and was bouncing along with the beat.

"Well, I would say that's Jasper!" Rosalie smiled.

"OHH! EDWARD"S TURN!" Emmett bellowed.

Bella changed the station, promptly receiving a wave of annoyance from Jasper.

"Keep bleeding

Keep keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

Keep keep bleeding love…" (Leona Lewis)

Alice snorted. "HA! Ironic if I daresay! But it makes some partial sense, just not the sd aspect of the song. The happy part is Edward."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Now only Bella has to go."

And then, he flipped the switch.

"And the weather today in Forks will be rain rain rain folks. The high is forty one, low thirty nine." A chipper weatherman announced.

"Yep that definitely describes Bella." They all laughed, while Bella flushed.

"We're here." Bella commented stiffly.

Snickering, the Cullens and Bella unloaded from the car and raced to the nearet store.

"Wow, she's eager." Alice said, giggling. "Maybe that's a new side of Bella."

Edward was distant. He smiled. "Yeah, she really is full of surprises. The best kind around."


	2. Chapter 2

When the Cullens and Bella got inside, they split up into two groups: Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Bella, Emmett, Edward

When the Cullens and Bella got inside, they split up into two groups: Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Bella, Emmett, Edward.

"Why cant go with Rose?" Emmett whined.

"Because." Alice stomped her foot.

"Because isn't good enough."

Rosalie sighed. "Emmett. Grow up. Go with Bella and Edward. I'm sure they'll save a make out session for later. _When you're not around." _

Bella blushed bright red.

Emmett smirked. "Good point."

Bella, still flushed, cleared her throat. "Lets meet in the food court in an hour. Then we can switch groups."

"Fine." The Cullens chorused.

Alice/Jasper/Rosalie

"WHAT? THERE IS NOT WAY I AM GOING INTO _VICTORIA'S FREAKING SECRET!_ NOT ON MY LIFE! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Jasper dug his heels into the freshly waxed mall floor. But he was not match for two vampire ladies on a mission.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. You wont be _too _embarrassed." Rosalie said, with a sly grin.

"'_TOO'?_ WHAT DO YOU MEAN? AUGHHH!" And he was drug unwillfully into the glittery, pink, lingerie store.

Bella, Emmett, Edward

"Oh look." Edward pointed.

"What? The barber shop or costume store?" Emmett inqured.

"Both. We could do some major damage with those." Edward laughed.

"Lets do it." Bella said suddenly. "No really. Think of werewolves when doing this, and Alice will never see it coming."

Edward pulled Bella close. "Okay. I'm in."

Emmett agreed.

And they walked into the barber shop.


	3. Chapter 3

Jasper, Alice, Rosalie:

Jasper, Alice, Rosalie:

"Jazz, stop dragging your heels into the floor. You're leaving scuff marks."

Rosalie snapped, glancing at the glittery pink floor.

Jasper groaned but obliged.

A young girl, no older than twenty, with shoulder length white blond hair and brown eyes strode up to the Cullens. "Hello," She said, her voice surprisingly gravelly. "Welcome to Victoria's Secret. My name is Calico. How may I be of assistance?"

"Yes," Alice said sweetly, "We would love help." She lowered her voice, even though she knew Jasper could hear her perfectly. "See, my husband here, has put on a few pounds recently, and has seemingly developed…" Alice pretended to struggle for a word. "Man boobs."

"WHAT?" Jasper exclaimed. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"

Calico's eyes nearly popped out of her skull. "Um, he seems to be in fine shape," Staring at his rock hard abs covered by his gray fitted tee.

"Yes, well, he's wearing a girdle." Rosalie piped up, her eyes gleaming with malice.

"Er, well, we only fit women here." Calico looked uncomfortable.

Alice pouted. "But there aren't any men bra shops around here. We'll even tip you." Alice took out a crisp fifty-dollar bill and placed it into Calico's pale hand.

"Well…okay. I guess that's…okay. Please follow me." Calico tucked the bill away, and walked to a dressing room, Jasper being hauled there by a vicious Rosalie and triumphant Alice.

"Please go into the dressing room and remove your t shirt please." Calico's fingers fluttered nervously as she pointed to a tiny pink dressing room.

Jasper glared at his sister and spouse, and did so. There was a gasp of surprise from him.

At vampire speed, he exited shirtless. "What the HECK is this?" Jasper pointed to his chest. He had moobs. Fake moobs, that is.

"Your moobs." Rosalie said coolly. "I put them on you last night when you were 'sleeping,' (relaxing and shutting down vampire senses, but are still awake)."

"How did these things fit under my shirt without showing? Jasper asked, half annoyed, half quizzical.

"The shirt, or the girdle, I should say" Alice giggled, and pushed him into the dressing room. "Get in there."

Calico hadn't noticed the whole exchange. "Okay, I'm coming in," she said, apprehensive.

"Thank you sir," Alice and Rosalie hear her say as Calico exited, flushed. "Size 32D."

Alice and Rosalie cracked up. "We'll go get some good, cute, LACY ones," Alice called.

This was too much fun.


End file.
